Secrets of my heart…
There are always those days.
The ones where our pants decide to not fit right, and our hair just won’t cooperate.
There are the times when we realized we did terrible on a paper we worked hard on.
There are the times you find out someone in registration has messed up your transcripts, so you can’t sign up for your classes on time.
Then there are the times when you find out your room mate is moving in with the girl across the hall, and she’s kicking you out of the room.
And then there’s the one where you’re boyfriend just doesn’t seem to realize he’s hurting your feelings, and keeps on saying worse and worse things till you just want to get up and walk out.
Today is that day. And it sucks. It’s hard to have a good attitude when this happens. I already have a tendency to be sensitive, and this just isn’t helping. I don’t want to sulk in a corner, but sometimes its just hard. You want to cry it out, but that would seems silly to others because that doesn’t seem so bad to them. They tell you to suck it up, and stop being a baby. So fine, call me that. It’s how I react sometimes. We can’t always have thick skin. It’s just not something that everyone is born with.
I know Im venting here, but I need to get it out somewhere, don’t I? Life just sucks sometimes…
It seems no matter what happens, I end up alone. Whether it is for a night, when I really need someone, or in a broader sense of my life. Is it my own fault? Do I isolate myself? I’m so sick of being lonesome when he’s not there. I’m doing it again, and it’s not healthy. It certainly isn’t ok. I need something other than a boy to fill my time. For tonight though, I’m curing the sickening feeling of loneliness with a cup of coffee, and a little live band in a coffee shop. It’ll have to do.
I love being happy. It makes everything so much easier.
I love having a boyfriend who isn’t a horrible jerk.
I love having a God who is merciful enough to save me from everything that I used to be,
and allowing me to live an entirely new life that is so different, so much better, and so beautiful.
Thank you God for my amazing life. C:
Life has its ups and downs. Yes, that’s true, but you can control how you interpret them, and you can choose how you behave because of them. I choose to react positively. I choose to have a uplifting belief system, and I will make a positive impact of things, so that others will do the same.
God has great things planned for me, and I’m starting to see the bright side of his plans.
C:
You never know how much you were hurt by something in your past until something good comes to you again, and you realize how much you feel as if you don’t deserve it.
