Ok, so, I kinda wigged out last time. I’ve been thinking (which is never a good thing, as it got me in this mess in the first place), and I’ve come to the conclusion I might have blown things up just a little in my own head. Three weeks away from the drama SHOULD have been a blessing, but of course, not in my world. My mind can’t keep still for that long. I’m still trying to teach myself the art of patience. I’m not very good at it. my mind does not understand the concept of “stop worrying”.
I am a worrier. It’s not good for me.
So I really just need to calm down, take a deep breath, and realize that everything is going to be alright. That’s what winter break was all about, and I wasted the opportunity. I guess it just the way I’ve always been. My family too. We fuss over every detail; we always have to be in control. Gosh! When will I realize that I’m never in control? God is!
I should have just relaxed and focused on the real part of this vacation: the birth of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I can still rely on him, even now that Christmas is over, but I lost my change to celebrate Christmas free of worry. (Not to say I didn’t have a good Christmas, I have a wonderful one!)
So I’ve decided, that instead, I’m going to start with the new year. It’s actually a little more appropriate too, what with the resolutions and what not. I’ve never really made resolutions, but I figure it’s a good time to start.
So, Resolution #1: Stop Worrying so Much!
It’s a big one, I know, but I’m going to try. The way I’m going to try and do this is when I notice that I’m starting to freak out too much over something, or i’m over-thinking things, and my thoughts start dragging me to dark places, I’m going to stop, take a breath, count to ten, and let it go. It seems simple, but since I know it won’t be that easy, I’m going to have a friend help me out. Keep me accountable. I’m not sure who yet, but I will pick one.
Resolution #2: Don’t Pretend You Know It All.
This is a good one, because I don’t know it all. Not one bit. But for some reason, I try to pretend I do. I use the phrase “I know” almost as much as I say “so, and, but, etc..”, and it’s a really bad thing. Not only does it put people off, but it adds stress to my day, because I end up worrying over the things I’ve said, the people I might have offended. Even if I do actually know that they are wrong, who am I to tell them? It’s rude of me, and I’m not gaining any friends that way. If anything, I’m losing them. Perhaps even losing the guy I had a crush on that I was worrying so much about. So for this one, I’m going to stop saying the phrase “I know”. I just won’t say it. It will come out as little as possible. And if I catch myself, I will immediately assess why I’ve just said it, because I’m probably about to correct someone, or ruin a good conversation by being a know-it-all. This would be another one I will have someone hold me accountable for. And more than that phrase, I’m going to try and pay close attention to what I saying, and make sure it’s a good thing or not to speak or keep my mouth shut.
Resolution #3: Enjoy God, and the Life that He Has Given Me.
This is a simple one, but hard, because of the other two problems. But I will make it work. I have such a wonderful life that God has laid out for me! i have a great school, wonderful friends, and an amazing family! I need to enjoy the things he has given me, instead of fretting over the things I can’t control!
So here it goes… I’m gonna work on these things. Lord knows I need to. And hopefully, in a couple months, there will be a new me.
